Funeral Plans:Funerals are delicate situations. People might have died due to various reasons, so you must be very deliberate about what you say to the the person who is grieving. If you really don't know what to say to someone, you can follow this guide of things to avoid,
Your religious views may be true, but they won't take pain away on the funeral day,
Certain religious statements can sound judgmental to those who mourns. Although those statements religious people make may be true, most often the things religious people say won't comfort those who mourn, no matter how religious they may be. They may be angry with their lost loved one or even God. That's why it will not help to say, "He's in a better place," or "God loved him so much that he took him back to heaven when he was young." To the grieving soul, a better place will never be the best place for a loved one to go. They want the one who passed on to come back home.
Certain religious statements can sound judgmental to those who mourns. Although those statements religious people make may be true, most often the things religious people say won't comfort those who mourn, no matter how religious they may be. They may be angry with their lost loved one or even God. That's why it will not help to say, "He's in a better place," or "God loved him so much that he took him back to heaven when he was young." To the grieving soul, a better place will never be the best place for a loved one to go. They want the one who passed on to come back home.
Don't ask or repeat the details of things in the midst of someone who mourns,
Keep in mind that when someone mourns, it's the details that keep them awake all night, makes them cry and agonize over things they can't change. That's why it's never wise or comforting to ask someone who is grieving, "Where will the funeral be?" Ask a relative, a friend, a priest if need be, but don't ask the one who mourns about the funeral routine.
Keep in mind that when someone mourns, it's the details that keep them awake all night, makes them cry and agonize over things they can't change. That's why it's never wise or comforting to ask someone who is grieving, "Where will the funeral be?" Ask a relative, a friend, a priest if need be, but don't ask the one who mourns about the funeral routine.
Never say, "Was it a peaceful death?" Don't ask anyone who just lost someone to dwell within the hell of details, like how their loved one died or what that death was like. Those details benefit no one and it doesn't help to comfort a loved one. You can help by taking on a few of those details that come with anyone's funeral arrangements yourself, but you don't need to tell anyone else.
If you don't know what to say or do, don't say or do anything,
Sometimes our mind goes blank when we see someone in pain, so if you feel that way, don't force yourself to say something that might come across as the most clueless thing anyone ever said to someone who mourns. All you need to do is to be there and make the one who mourns aware that you care. You can do that with few to no words at all. Just give them a hug and tell them they are loved. Prepare a meal, babysit the kids, take the dog for a walk or keep track of the flowers, gifts and condolence cards for the family. Just keep busy and let your presence say, "I care and I'm aware that you need me to be there."
Sometimes our mind goes blank when we see someone in pain, so if you feel that way, don't force yourself to say something that might come across as the most clueless thing anyone ever said to someone who mourns. All you need to do is to be there and make the one who mourns aware that you care. You can do that with few to no words at all. Just give them a hug and tell them they are loved. Prepare a meal, babysit the kids, take the dog for a walk or keep track of the flowers, gifts and condolence cards for the family. Just keep busy and let your presence say, "I care and I'm aware that you need me to be there."
Shameful secrets about the deceased,
Maybe you hurt them much. Maybe you might have some dirt on them that you've been waiting to dish out for ages. Maybe, just maybe, they even deserve what you're going to say. Revealing them at the funeral, though? You couldn't have worse timing, for not only will you be held in the lowest regard but what you have to say will generally be ignored, regardless of how important it is. Keep your mouth clamped until later.
Maybe you hurt them much. Maybe you might have some dirt on them that you've been waiting to dish out for ages. Maybe, just maybe, they even deserve what you're going to say. Revealing them at the funeral, though? You couldn't have worse timing, for not only will you be held in the lowest regard but what you have to say will generally be ignored, regardless of how important it is. Keep your mouth clamped until later.
Inquiring as to any outstanding debts,
People often die and leave financial obligations behind for their kins persons to deal with. And, yes, you need to get them dealt with - eventually. At the funeral, though? Man, you're creepy. Impatient, too.
People often die and leave financial obligations behind for their kins persons to deal with. And, yes, you need to get them dealt with - eventually. At the funeral, though? Man, you're creepy. Impatient, too.
Complaining about wanting to leave,
Children can get away with this, adults can't. Funerals are one of the very few things in life that are guaranteed to happen only once. Nobody cares if you're bored. tamp your complaints, show the proper respect and leave when it's time to leave.
Children can get away with this, adults can't. Funerals are one of the very few things in life that are guaranteed to happen only once. Nobody cares if you're bored. tamp your complaints, show the proper respect and leave when it's time to leave.
If you are still timid after reading this remember; You don't have to say anything at all. The fact that you showed up to honor their loved one is the most important part.
