April 5, 2011

Why funeral services Matters?

Online Funeral Service: The consequence of losing a particular person or loved one through a death is often quite a heavy burden for a person to take. Your care and concern can certainly be showed by expressing to those who are in deepest sorrow that we share in their grieving. Funerals are often considered to have not only the psychological aspect for the bereaved family but a sociable one as well. The existence or company of a friend during a time of loss often can convey to the grieving spirit, "I'm going to be there for you."

Incorporating a faith based funeral service is a crucial part of the final celebration of life ceremony. It allows grievers to share deeply held beliefs by expressing them openly. These types of observances give significance or importance to the events that lead to the final disposition of the perished's body. This service or observance can share the highlights or events were in the life of the perished, before the final goodbye.

It can also be a time when the kinspersons of the perished can able to know how their loved one touched the lives of so many in the community and immediate circle of friends. This isn't just shown by just buying funeral or memorial gifts, it goes beyond that in a deeper sense. It is in fact, showed by the very act of the funeral itself. Every family will be different in the way they evince how significant or important their loved one's life has been. They solemnize and commemorate the perished by sharing stories and memories during the visitation period or wake by a special symbolic gesture at the church or graveside service.

Looking back over the life of the perished is something the kinspersons can do. Friends often will say to the family, how the perished touched their lives. Words can be expressed to help the bereaving family, as well. In conclusion, having a funeral is a necessity as it also brings closure and healing to the surviving members.

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Funerals-to-die-for - Changing the Way We Grieve

Funeral Planning: In the economy we live in today, funeral costs are on the rise and locating the lowest and best priced funeral materials is a daunting task. One of the great advantage of funeral services provided by Funerals-to-die-for is, it can provide you with more cost saving solutions for the funeral service you are planning. Funeral planning is more or less like arranging a wedding except you've got a shorter window of time for the planning and preparations. Here are some ideas to cut back expenses for a funeral of a loved one,
  • Cremation is a growing alternative method, since you will not have to have the body embalmed, buy a plot of land for burial and purchase a casket to case the body.
  • You can keep the ashes at a cemetery and purchase a small space to contain the ashes which is considerably less than a plot of land. The container for the ashes or "urn" is much less than the price of a casket.
  • The funeral music can be provided by a close friend who can either present a singing solor or play music from a CD recording.
  • You can save costs by not having a funeral home assist in the funeral arrangements and having a friend or family member facilitate the funeral or memorial service.
  • You can enlist the help of a family member or friend to officiate the funeral service. This would include delivering a eulogy, encouraging word, or introduce the next order of service.
  • Have the after funeral service reception at a home and ask family and friends to help prepare the food. Support will come from family and friends during a time of loss and will often provide meals and food for the bereaved family.
  • By creating the funeral service program yourself, you can save a lot of money but still produce a wonderful cherished memorial of your loved one.
Creating a funeral service program for your loved one is the goal to establishing a truly remarkable program. Funeral services are highlighting the life of your loved one. Family, friends, and acquaintances keep the funeral service program as a valuable relic for many years. The program is often cherished and kept treasured after the funeral or memorial service by those who attended the service.

Funeral Planning- What to wear to a funeral?

Funeral Planning: Unfortunately there are some moments in life when it is time to say goodbye to a loved one. If you are attending a funeral then it is wise to educate yourself on what is the appropriate dress for the occasion. The type of clothes you wear depend on your culture, the deceased religious belief, your relationship to the family, as well as where the service will be held. Below are some general tips that will ensure that you are dressed appropriately for the occasion.

Colors, Patterns and Textures:
Proper funeral wake dress used to mean formal all-black clothing. The modern funeral etiquette is not so strict; wearing another subdued color besides black is appropriate and is not a sign of disrespect. However, black is always a suitable color for funeral dress. It has long been associated with mourning in Western culture. There are many colors and patterns that are considered to be inappropriate for funeral dress. Funeral dress etiquette suggests not wearing any bold or loud patterns for men or women. Examples of this are red, orange or yellow dresses, boldly patterned suits, large floral pattern dresses, whimsical prints for ties and dresses and metallic cloth. Etiquette guidelines advise conservative prints, darker colors (purple, green, blue and gray) and subtle textures for fabrics.

Formal or Semi-Formal?
Proper funeral dress is considered to be semi-formal to formal clothing. For men, this means at least a button-down shirt and slacks and more appropriately a suit and tie (Dark color is a most preferable one). For women, a conservative pants suit, skirt and top is recommended. Guests should never wear apparels like short sleeves, tank tops, flip-flop shoes or tennis shoes.

Modesty is another part of proper funeral wake dress etiquette. Traditionally, women should not wear revealing clothes such as bare shoulders, plunging necklines or mini skirts. Men should not wear shirts that are open at the chest. Closed-toe shoes are best for funeral footwear.

Special Considerations:
Some religions either require or urge the attendants' to cover their heads. Make inquiries if you are unsure of the requirements. For example, some Jewish funeral rituals require head coverings, and a Muslim funeral requires women to wear head scarves in the mosque for the services. When in doubt, take a scarf just in case. Muslim and Buddhist funerals will also require guests to remove their shoes upon entering the mosque or temple. Although the ceremony for Buddhist and Hindu funerals are quite different, the colors are very similar. For both religions white is the color of grieving, and it is reserved for the family. All other guests wear darker colors.

This was all about what to wear to a funeral. A funeral is a time, when the best condolence, one could offer is through a proper funeral dress. Because, on that day and that time, no amount of words can console the deceased's family, no matter what. And when you go for a funeral, make sure, you reach on time and participate in the ritual. And the most important thing, maintain silence. After all, that is the only way you can show your concern to the deceased's family.

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What to say or do at a funeral

Funeral Director: Many people are disquieting about what to say at a funeral. They might be concern about not saying the right thing or saying something that will upset a grief-stricken family member. When it comes time to convey your condolences at a funeral, keep it simple and sincere. Learning how to say and do the right things will help keep you away from making bad mistakes while at a funeral. Here we have given some of the things you should say or do at a funeral,

Words of Sympathy:
When you attend a viewing, wake or funeral, it is a good idea to express some words of sympathy to the kins persons of the perished. The nature of your relationship decides what to say at a funeral. However, most sentiments conveyed at a funeral can begin with something simple, such as "I'm sorry," "I am so sorry for your loss" or "My sympathies to you."

If you are more intimate with the perished's family members, you can acknowledge your support and sympathy at the funeral services by recognizing their emotions at this time. Say something like, "I know how close you were to your father" or "I know how hard it is to lose a sibling." If you and the kins persons share a religious background, it might be appropriate to offer some words of comfort along the lines of your religious beliefs at the funeral. It's also a kind gesture to ask if there is anything you can do to assist the family at this difficult time, and make the commitment to follow through.

Remembering the perished:
If you knew the perished, whether through work, church or other civil association, you might consider mentioning their contributions. You could say, "James was such a wonderful asset to the company, and he will really be missed." Or, "I so enjoyed working with Antony at our church functions. She had such a friendly smile." This is especially nice if you knew the perished, but not the family. It provides a little intro as to how you knew the perished.

Offer Help:
Although others won't tell you when they truly need help, you should still offer it. You can offer to help out with something to do with the services or to help at home doing chores or other things. You can also offer food because those who are grieving don't often eat as they should. There are a hundred ways in which you can help at a funeral. You just have to figure out what is needed and go from there.

Hugs:
There is nothing more welcome to a grieving person than to receive a hug. They may receive a hundred hugs ahead of yours, but you should still give it. That is one of the most important things to do at a funeral. When you feel loss, you need to feel arms wrapped around you tightly. You need to know that someone cares. That is why hugs are one of the most important things that you can do at a funeral.

Last but not least, never speak ill of the dead or tell ridiculous jokes, no matter who it might be. However, you can recall and share the good times you had with the perished when that person was alive. Your goal is to comfort the surviving family members in a most respectful manner and say, in your own way, a final farewell to the dearly departed.

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Things not to say at a funeral

Funeral Plans:Funerals are delicate situations. People might have died due to various reasons, so you must be very deliberate about what you say to the the person who is grieving. If you really don't know what to say to someone, you can follow this guide of things to avoid,

Your religious views may be true, but they won't take pain away on the funeral day,
Certain religious statements can sound judgmental to those who mourns. Although those statements religious people make may be true, most often the things religious people say won't comfort those who mourn, no matter how religious they may be. They may be angry with their lost loved one or even God. That's why it will not help to say, "He's in a better place," or "God loved him so much that he took him back to heaven when he was young." To the grieving soul, a better place will never be the best place for a loved one to go. They want the one who passed on to come back home.

Don't ask or repeat the details of things in the midst of someone who mourns,
Keep in mind that when someone mourns, it's the details that keep them awake all night, makes them cry and agonize over things they can't change. That's why it's never wise or comforting to ask someone who is grieving, "Where will the funeral be?" Ask a relative, a friend, a priest if need be, but don't ask the one who mourns about the funeral routine.

Never say, "Was it a peaceful death?" Don't ask anyone who just lost someone to dwell within the hell of details, like how their loved one died or what that death was like. Those details benefit no one and it doesn't help to comfort a loved one. You can help by taking on a few of those details that come with anyone's funeral arrangements yourself, but you don't need to tell anyone else.

If you don't know what to say or do, don't say or do anything,
Sometimes our mind goes blank when we see someone in pain, so if you feel that way, don't force yourself to say something that might come across as the most clueless thing anyone ever said to someone who mourns. All you need to do is to be there and make the one who mourns aware that you care. You can do that with few to no words at all. Just give them a hug and tell them they are loved. Prepare a meal, babysit the kids, take the dog for a walk or keep track of the flowers, gifts and condolence cards for the family. Just keep busy and let your presence say, "I care and I'm aware that you need me to be there."

Shameful secrets about the deceased,
Maybe you hurt them much. Maybe you might have some dirt on them that you've been waiting to dish out for ages. Maybe, just maybe, they even deserve what you're going to say. Revealing them at the funeral, though? You couldn't have worse timing, for not only will you be held in the lowest regard but what you have to say will generally be ignored, regardless of how important it is. Keep your mouth clamped until later.

Inquiring as to any outstanding debts,
People often die and leave financial obligations behind for their kins persons to deal with. And, yes, you need to get them dealt with - eventually. At the funeral, though? Man, you're creepy. Impatient, too.

Complaining about wanting to leave,
Children can get away with this, adults can't. Funerals are one of the very few things in life that are guaranteed to happen only once. Nobody cares if you're bored. tamp your complaints, show the proper respect and leave when it's time to leave.

If you are still timid after reading this remember; You don't have to say anything at all. The fact that you showed up to honor their loved one is the most important part.

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Funeral Planning- Modes to get help with Funeral Expenses

Coffin: At the end of life, you desire to honor your loved ones with a proper funeral. You want to celebrate life and treat the perished with honor, dignity and respect. Unfortunately, funeral arrangements can be very pricey, especially if your loved one has little or no life insurance. Finding a way to pay for these arrangements can add enormous pressure to the grief you are already feeling. Here is how to find money to help with a funeral.

Local Assistance:

If you are in a confused state to where to turn for financial assistance for a funeral, contact your county's treasurer or public administrator. Some counties have financial programs in place to support poor families with burial. However, this assistance probably won't help with the cost of a casket. Cremation may be the only facilitation provided by your county.

Social Security: 

If the perished person has paid into Social Security, you may be eligible for funeral assistance. The amount of money the Social Security Administration provides is under $1,000, but this money could palliate a small portion of the financial burden of the funeral.

Donations:

Request the funeral attendants for monetary donations instead of flowers. Your loved one can be honored without breaking the bank when each person contributes a small amount to help carry the weight of the financial responsibility.

Loan:

If any of your family members has estimable credit, consider getting out loan for the amount of the funeral. When a loved one perishes, the family often has to chip in to provide the financing for the funeral. A loan may be the only viable option if many of your family members have low incomes.

Church:

Your church also will help to facilitate the financial burden in a number of ways. Your priest or pastor may officiate the funeral for free. The church may provide an offering to help you with the costs. The church can also provide a place to host a small funeral or memorial service at little or no cost. Instead of having the funeral service at a funeral home, a more casual memorial service where loved ones celebrate the life of the perished can provide a fitting tribute for much less money.

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Funeral Gift Ideas - Instead of sending Flowers

Costs: When someone passes away people usually send flowers to the funeral home to show their concern and love for the family. This is a tradition that has lived on for a very long time, but these days flowers are very expensive, and most of them are disposed of at the cemetery. This is why some people opt to give a funeral gift other than flowers. Flowers are nice, but other gift ideas can be even nicer than cut blooms that will be thrown away before they have even wilted. Consider the following funeral gift ideas instead of flowers, and give the family something they can really use during the time of grief,

Donation to a charity:

Perished family might request that a charity donation be made instead of flowers. Flowers might look exquisite but a charity donation can make a real difference in people's lives. There are different ways to determine which charity to give to, sometimes the family will specify a particular organization. Other times you can give to a charity associated with the person's illness such as a donation to a heart and stroke fund or diabetes foundation. You could give to a cause that was close to the person's heart such as an animal related charity if the perished was an animal lover. If you really have no idea, you could just choose a large one such as CARE or the Red Cross. Many places will send a card to the family to tell them of your donation.

Trust fund for Kids:

If the person has younger kids, then you might want to consider giving a little trust fund for the kids. It could be money to help the kids go into college for instance. Of course, if the person is going to be in dire straits financially, you could look to getting practical items like diapers for babies, clothing and so forth. Find out what they need to try to get something that would be practical and valued by them.

Photographs or video footage:

If you knew the perished well enough and have pictures of them that their loved ones may not, make copies and share them with the family! This can be very comforting to them in spite of the tears they will likely shed.

Plants:

One of the different gifts that is becoming more popular is to send a live plant. Flowers look ravishing and smell amazing but they die within a week. Potted plants such as ivy can be taken home and last forever. Other plants can be placed in the ground outside for the person to enjoy for years to come.

Food:

The family might like a gift basket of food. You can give this to them before or after the funeral instead of right there itself. For instance, you could give a gift basket of fruit. You could also make the family some comfort food such as hot soup or fresh home baked cookies. You could make them some meals as well. Make sure to adhere, whether they have to any dietary restrictions or not.

Sending flowers for a funeral can be very expensive and last only a short amount of time. Other gifts, which are mentioned above are more practical for the family and others. You can also combine your gifts with other people to make a more substantial gift.

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Elements of a Christian funeral service

Free trial: Funerals are a fact of life. Sooner or later everyone will ultimately come to the end of their life and pass away. The fact may seem cold but it is the nature of this world. Everything that now lives will one day die. It is a fact we seldom like to ponder or consider but it is true. Part of the rites of passage for death are funeral customs. There are a number of specific elements that are part of most christian funerals. There are several aspects or segments of the funeral service that most people never think about or put much thought into until they have to help plan a funeral. Here are just a few of the various elements that go into a standard christian funeral service.

Opening Sentence:

The first words that are spoken usually take the form of a recited piece of poetry or specific verse of Bible. The standard theme of the opening sentence is to draw attention to the need for comfort for the family and friends of the perished.

Invocation - Opening Prayer:

Invocation (or) the opening prayer comes immediately after the Opening Sentence. Actually this is a short prayer over the service and for the family of the perished. These prayers are normally written and recited but could be spoken in a spontaneous manner.

Obituary or Commemoration:

Commemoration is the part of the funeral service which focuses on the perished and focuses on sharing aspects about the persons life. Depending on the region and the wishes of the family, the obituary is read. However, simply reading the obituary does seem more than a little impersonal. No matter how this handled the purpose is to celebrate the life of the perished.

Scripture Readings:

There are usually a variety of scripture readings that are spread throughout the service but the first usually comes ether directly prior to or directly following the Commemoration. These reading are usually short for the sake of time and are often the choice of the family. The religious background of the family of the perished often determines the amount and the selection of scriptures included in the service.

Sharing of memories:

Some funeral services allow for an open time of sharing about the perished. The sharing of memories about the perished are often unplanned and usually are extremely personal in nature.

Sermon:

The person who officiating the funeral will give a message focalized on the message of comfort for the friends and family. Christian funerals almost always focus on some aspect of the hope of heaven.

Closing prayer of comfort:

The sermon or message normally closes with a special prayer for the family of the perished. The prayer focuses on the needs of the family and for comfort during the days yet to come.

Benediction:

Last stage of the funeral service is, benediction or dismissal of the congregation. The benediction can take many different forms but usually is nothing more than a few words that announces the end of the formal service and directs the people to move to the burial service held at the cemetery.

Funerals may be less difficult to attend once we empathize the reasons behind various aspects or segments of the actual service. Taking the time to understand funerals will make us better prepared to lend comfort and help to those who are grieving.

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What to do with the flowers after a funeral

Online funeral service: Funerals are occasions where flowers abound. They are brought to bring beauty and honor to the perished one. If you've ever been in charge of taking care of funeral arrangements and clean-ups, you have probably looked at all of the beautiful flowers, floral arrangements, and plants that are brought in honor of the perished and wondered what to do with them. It would be a shame to just leave them and have them thrown out by the funeral home. You probably don't want to take them all home with you, either. So, what can you do with them? The following are some ideas for doling out the floral decor of a funeral.

  • One of the expeditious way to doling out the floral decor is, place the flowers on the grave after it has been closed. This is a very common practice in most of the countries. It gives the fresh grave a much less desolate look and reminds the family of how cherished and honored their loved one was. Once the flowers have wilted, they will have to be removed, at which time cemetery personnel can return to whatever usual procedure they employ to finish the grave.
  • If the perished was living either with a spouse or a parent, they might like to take the flowers home with them. To be surrounded by all the different floral arrangements and wreathes will remind them of the multitude of people who turned out to help lay their loved one to rest.
  • Another possibility is, to doling out the flowers among family and friends. That way each griever can be reminded that they are not alone in their grief.
  • Nursing homes will always welcome donations of flowers. They might use that to embellish their hallways, dining rooms, community rooms, or even a particular patient’s bedroom with a nice arrangement. Spreading the cheer is the best way to use flowers.
  • If the perished is cremated it may be possible to burn the flowers and mix the ashes. They were meant as a last gift, so it seems appropriate that they should stay with their recipient.
  • Of course, the flowers could just be cast away. It may be excruciating for the family to deal with the problem of what to do with them. If that is the case, it would be proper to leave the disposal of the flowers to the cleaning staff.
An efficient way to avoid the problem altogether is request for gifts instead of flowers. In recent years, it has become a fairly common practice to ask for charitable donations in the perished one name. Many families feel that this is a more constructive way to remember and honor their loved one. In the end it does not really matter what happens to the flowers. The most important thing is that the family should feel comfortable with whatever decision has been made.
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Funeral etiquette- How to behave at a funeral?

Funeral planning: Funerals are difficult for everyone, it is always an elusive and emotional occasion. General rules of manners seem inadequate for a funeral. By following a few simple rules you can make it a little easier on yourself and others.

Dress code:

Funeral is a formal occasion not a party. Dress staidly, unless you are told otherwise, at some funerals these days the perished has especially asked that people not wear dark colors. But in any case this is not an occasion to wear a skirt up to your armpits, a low cut top or one that shows your navel, fishnet stockings, or ripped jeans. Men should either wear a dark lounge suit or dark trousers and a dark jacket and a white shirt, to a normal funeral, if they are attending a celebration of life a colored shirt is permissible but not shirts with slogans on. Don't forget to check any special dress requirements with the family.

Flowers:

Sending flowers can be acceptable in some traditions, unless the newspaper announcement states that the family has requested memorial gifts instead of flowers. Contact the funeral home director for getting informations like where to send flowers, etc.... Ask the florist to print your name and full address on the floral card so the family will not have to look up your address when sending thank you notes.

Gifts:

Families might request you to send the memorial gifts to a particular charity or organization instead of flowers. When sending the memorial gift, be sure to tell the organization that the gift is being made in the name of the perished. Often the organization will send a list of donors to the family so they can thank you for your support.

Visitation or Calling Hours:

Most of the families might held visitation or calling hours prior to the funeral service. This is often held at the funeral home and may be the day before or just prior to the funeral service. Visitation or calling hours will gives family and friends an opportunity to say goodbye to the perished one. While visiting, be sure to sign the guest book and keep conversation with the immediate family brief, especially if there are many people there paying their respects. Simply expressing sympathy for their loss is appropriate. You will have the opportunity to go near the casket, however it is not required.

Funeral Service:

Where the funeral will be held will mostly based on the family's religious beliefs or traditions. If you are not believing such things, just quietly and respectfully follow the service. You will not be expected to join in on the religious aspects of the service, such as accepting communion at a Catholic mass. Don't arrive late to the services. Plan on arriving 10 minutes early, since the service will likely start right on time. Keep conversations before the service low and avoid talking during the service. If you have young children who begin to cry or make noise, take them out into the vestibule or foyer to avoid disturbing the other grievers.

After the Funeral:

While a bereaved family can draw strength from their relatives and close friends, don't go to the bereaved home unless an invitation has been offered. The family may choose to host a luncheon or buffet after the services or they may prefer to have some time alone.

Funerals are always difficult, but keep in mind that the function is to pay respect to the perished and offer support to the family. Simply attending the services itself is a strong sign of support. Do not let the fear over what to say or how to behave keep you from paying your respects.

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